Needs of the household
When we think of a young religious person, too often we think of someone who spends all his time with other Muslims, going to the Islamic centre, or attending religious classes. When he is not outside engaged in these activities, we think of him devoting all his time to personal devotions like reading Islamic books, reciting the Quran, or listening to recorded lectures. Sadly, we do not think of this young person having anything to do with the rest of the household.
This is, in fact, a grave mistake that many religious young people make. The worldly needs of the household must be met. If the “pious” person fails to carry out his proper role at home someone else will have to be the one to carry it out. That someone else may be deficient in his religion, but because he is the one taking care of the needs of the household, he is going to be the one to have the greatest influence. His words will be heeded and his commands obeyed. His opinions will carry weight. As for the religious young person, his word will carry no weight whatsoever, since he never does anything to benefit anyone else.
Some of our religious young men and women seek to excuse themselves from their household chores with excuses like reading the Quran or listening to a taped lecture! Then they wonder how they can have a positive affect on the other members of their household who are engaged in sinful activities.
In order to be able to counteract the sinful behaviour that goes on in the home and bring about positive change, we must first build up our own position within your household by serving our family and catering to their needs.
Some of our young, religious people flee from their homes in one way or another after becoming religious. They feel that they cannot bear staying at home surrounded by what they regard as sinful behaviour or as their family’s casual religious attitudes.
Some seek to escape the temptations at home by going overseas to study or by simply moving away from home. There are often clear signs in their behaviour that they are merely running away. Some of them even leave home without their parents’ permission.
They forget that when a man asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) if he could go to war, the Prophet (peace be upon him) immediately asked him if his parents were alive. When he said that they were, the Prophet said: “
Your jihad is to take care of your parents!” [
Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2728) and
Sahîh Muslim (4623)]
They also forget that when another young man approached the Prophet (peace be upon him) to go and fight, the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him if his mother was alive. When he found out that she was, he told the man: “
Woe unto you! Attend her at her feet and you will attain Paradise.” [
Sunan Ibn Mâjah (2771). The hadîth is authentic (
sahîh)]
