Blindspot!
From Issue: 764 [Read full issue]
Past Pain
The suffering we have experienced in our own life can also help us to appreciate the depths of other people's unhappiness. That is why it is important to revisit your own past pain. The dynamic of this Golden Rule is beautifully expressed in an early sura of the Quran (Ad-Duha) in which God asks Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, to remember the sorrows of his childhood - he had been orphaned as small child, parceled out to relatives, and for years was a marginalized member of his family and tribe - and make sure that nobody else in his community would endure this deprivation.
Our pain, therefore, can become an education in compassion. Some people deliberately steel their hearts against involvement with other people's suffering: the businessperson has no option but to sack an inefficient employee, and the doctor cannot afford to become emotionally distraught each time a patient dies. It is natural to try to avoid unnecessary grief. We don't want to listen to the sad story that a colleague is telling us. We feel that we have enough to deal with and push her troubles from our mind. We hurry past the homeless man outside the supermarket, refusing to allow his plight to disturb our equanimity. But when this happens, it is time to recall our own past distress. Remember the things that help you when you are having a bad day - a kind word, a smile, a joke - and try to give that gift to a testy colleague. Remember what it is like to feel alone with sadness and take the trouble to listen to your friend's tale of woe: "And one who asks for help - do not turn him away."
Compiled From:
"Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" - Karen Armstrong, pp. 99-102