Blindspot!
From Issue: 768 [Read full issue]
Vulnerability
If we are going to recognize and accept what makes us human, including our imperfections and less-than-extraordinary lives, we must embrace our vulnerabilities. This is extremely difficult, because we are afraid to be vulnerable. We equate vulnerability with weakness, and in our culture, there are very few things we abhor more than weakness.
It is extremely painful to share a vulnerability or fear with someone, only to have them use it against us as an insult, as leverage in an argument or as a fodder for gossip. However, the need to reach out and talk about our experiences can be a strong force. So strong, in fact, that it sometimes leads us to purging with people whom we have not developed the kind of relationship that can absorb that information.
When it comes to sharing information, it would be nice to believe that most of us have the ability to recognize the right people, the right times and the right ways to share. But alas, the reality is that most of us have turned to people we barely know and thrown up vulnerability all over them.
When it comes to sharing vulnerability, it’s wise to take time to test whether the other person is worthy of hearing our stories and to assess our own level of safety and comfort in sharing sensitive material. We want to trust that the other person isn’t going to deny and minimize our pain, or alternatively, overfocus on our problem in an unhelpful way. We don’t want to be put down, pitied, or gossiped about, nor do we want to have sensitive information used against us.
Compiled From:
"I Thought It Was Just Me" - Brene Brown, pp. 205-207