Blindspot!
From Issue: 770 [Read full issue]
Authenticity
What is authenticity? We may not know how to define it, but we certainly know it when we see it. In fact, when we are in the presence of an authentic person, many of us can even feel it in our bones. We gravitate toward people whom we perceive as honest, real and sincere. We love women who radiate warmth and that "down to earth" feeling. We gather around the people who can "tell it like it is" and laugh at themselves in the process.
Authenticity is something we revere in others and strive to maintain in our own lives. We don't feel good about half-truths, disingenuous connection and fearful silence. We all want to have a clear sense of who we are and what we believe and to feel confident enough to share that with others.
Shame often prevents us from presenting our real selves to the people around us - it sabotages our efforts to be authentic. How can we be genuine when we are desperately trying to manage and control how others perceive us? How can we be honest with people about our beliefs and, at the same time, tell them what we think they want to hear? How do we stand up for what we believe in when we are trying to make everyone around us feel comfortable so they won't get angry and put us down?
When we sacrifice authenticity in an effort to manage how we are being perceived by others, we often get caught in a dangerous and debilitating cycle: Shame, or the fear of being shamed, moves us away from our authentic selves. We tell people what they want to hear, or we don't speak out when we should. In turn, we feel shame for being dishonest, misrepresenting our beliefs or not taking an important stand.
Compiled From:
"I Thought It Was Just Me" - Brene Brown, pp. 242, 243